im not sure where to start this. or if i’m even supposed to be writing this.
lets make this a prayer. because God hears the cries of my heart anyway.
heartbroken before i have even fallen in love. not with a boy, but for my parents.
their marriage has been falling apart since day 1. no progression, but it has been in a constant decline. how do i even deal with this kind of situation? it’s gotten to a point where i told my own dad to get out tonight. get out of this family. start something new for yourself. Lord, i see no hope in this marriage.
Lord, have mercy on me. forgive me for the words i’ve said and the emotions i feel. how is it even possible that their own child would want them to have a divorce? a permanent separation? something that is detestable in Your eyes, unless under certain circumstances.
is this the right circumstance yet, Lord? where there poisoned relationship with each other is interfering with their relationship with You?
forgive me, oh Lord, for not trusting in Your almighty power to get through this. for not praying for them enough. for not loving them enough.
i thought i did though Lord, at least… for mom. i love her so much… and i thought i showed it enough. but it doesn’t work… when i don’t love my dad just the same. I TRY LORD, I TRY. CAN YOU HEAR ME???
from the depths of my heart, i’m asking you to come into their marriage. do whatever is in Your will, but Lord, please… PLEASE do it fast.
i can’t take much more. it’s been 20 years since i’ve been alive, and some of the only moments from my childhood i recall have been yelling, screaming, slamming doors, threats of milk on the piano, yelling down hotel corridors, arguments in front of my dad’s family and church friends.
my brother is growing older. he is 12 now! please spare him this hurt and this pain. spare him growing up so fast…
mom… she tries. i know she does. but with her past, her current stresses, her aging… there’s almost no hope. God needs to give her the strength, the courage, the humbleness to overcome this, and she needs to accept His help to love dad.
dad… he tries as well. but he tries from his own strength. it’s hard to know whether he trusts God as his Saviour. he wants to take things into his own hands all the time, and when things don’t come out as expected, he gets frustrated and loses it. God, help him.
God, talk hold of both of them and shake them violently. show them the truth. Your truth.
Holy Spirit, work within us, teach us, comfort us, love us. TRANSFORM US.
Your promise is deeply imprinted into my heart without me knowing. i cling to Your promise, hoping, hoping, hoping that it is true. i’m trying to put my faith in You, i’m trying.
praise God, from whom all blessings flow.
praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost,